Saturday May 9, 2009. This means War

I have waged war against my butt. It doesn’t seem to be complying with the rules of the rest of my body, which are to stay thin for as long as possible without really trying. Am I going to have to start working for this?

It all started when I went to buy a new pair of jeans the other day. I haven’t bought a new pair of jeans in quite some time. I‘ve always thought, “When I get my butt in shape, I’ll buy some new jeans.” Guess what? That kind of thing doesn’t just happen. I’ve tried it. I’ve tried consistently for many years to wait around for a firm ass. No such luck.
It was time to do something. Work out? Oh ho ho no- just buy new jeans. Maybe there’s a miracle pair out there that firms it up high and tight.

Fighting the splitting headache I got just entering the store (holy hell the 80’s ARE back and has the music always been this loud?), I picked out two pairs of “skinny jeans”. Jeans I swear to the gods I wore when I was 10 years old.  Almost skinny enough to have been the VERY jeans I wore at 10.
Upon exiting the fitting room, I began searching for the butt aisle. Surely you must be able to purchase a new one to go along with your new jeans…

Look, I’m thin. I know this. I’m thankful for this. It’s in my genes (must. resist. attempt to crack some sort of “genes vs jeans” joke).  But there’s nothing but gravity helping this butt of mine.  And, last I checked, the only good thing gravity has ever done for any of us is keep us planted on earth.
No mom jeans for this mom. No sir.
It’s time. Fer real.

Something you should know about me: I HATE exercise. Despise it. It sucks. I’m sure there are all sorts of mental issues we could delve into as to why, but not now. I have no doubt if you keep following this blog, you’ll experience a few of my mental issues.

I’ve also been meaning to start a blog for years. After lots of friends telling me to do it and me being too ADD to know where to begin… Here I am.
And here it is:
A blog…heh heh…a blog about…ha! Ha! I can barely get it out…I blog about EXercise.

Follow me. It’s gonna suck.



3 Responses to “Saturday May 9, 2009. This means War”

  1. Andreas Ekström Says:

    You and your ass have both been added to my RSS feed! Welcome!

  2. Anne Marie Says:

    Welcome to blog world! Looking forward to read how you are going to loose but weight. I could put my hands around your neck when reading that YOU of all people are going to write about your but (if yours big then mine is galactic), but hey I´m curious and in for the ride 😉

  3. carolinetimm Says:

    HI, guys- thanks for reading! I’m going to have to learn how this wordpress really works. I am dreading the process of getting to know yet another site, but will beautify the place as I go along.

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